Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” is the undisputed girl anthem of 2019. It is to women as “Mo Bamba” is to frat boys. As much as I can appreciate a song about women’s empowerment, there are a few lines that bug the shit out me.
“Why men great ’til they gotta be great?”
Ouch…generalize the male population much. Obviously, this suggests that men are great in relationships right up until the point we have to step it up in the face of difficulty or stagnation. Apparently we just give up or find a “side chick”. Except, the idea that men are the sole transgressors of cheating or walking out when the going gets tough completely ignores that women are both more likely to initiate divorce and that millennial women are cheating more often than their male counterparts.
But does any of that really matter when the defining line of the song is:
“You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal”….
Wait, wait, wait.
You’re complaining about boy problems with the stance that your value partially stems from being non-committal. Like, are you or are you not seeking no strings attached? Because if what you’re offering is something non-committal then why the fuck are you getting so worked up over and putting men on blast when wait for it…the guy is being non-committal. How can he have side chicks if having a primary chick requires commitment?
Meh, what’s the point of commitment anyways when she really didn’t love him from the start:
“You tried to break my heart, oh that breaks my heart that you thought you ever had it, no, you ain’t from the start”
So who’s playing who here? You’re all upset about him deciding not to love you anymore (no surprise Ms. Non-Committal) and have to get him out of your head when you turn around and admit you never loved him in the first place. That shit doesn’t make sense! How did he try and break your heart when he thought he had himself one of those non-committal bad bitches?
And then there are lines that seem respectable at face value, but are kinda shady behind the lyrics:
“I will never, ever, ever, ever be your side chick”
That’s fair and all, but again if you’re a non-committal “bad bitch” than how can you claim to be anyone’s primary chick. But in order to really understand why this line bothers me, you have to first realize that the original lyrics were supposed to read “be a side chick“. She changed the lyrics because she didn’t want to exclude girls who were knowingly “side-chicks” from the message of empowerment.
Okay, so, her stance is basically that it is totally cool to be shady and perpetuate dishonesty, cheating, and infidelity and still feel empowered…but only if you’re a woman. If you’re a guy out there wrecking families, you’re a worthless piece of shit, but if you are the side chick knowingly assisting in ruining relationships then hop right on up to your pedestal of girl empowerment, also.
“ Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting”
For a woman that totally isn’t bothered and is “100% that bitch” that doesn’t give a damn because she sought non-committal relationships as to not hold her career back, she sure went to a lot of effort to show she isn’t bothered by some guy picking up a side chick over her – which shouldn’t really bother her anyways because remember, she is totally cool with being non-committal. Getting over a breakup and moving on with a sense of empowerment is great, kudos to her, but what the hell is she really breaking up from when the entire basis of her love is – here’s that phrase again – non-committal?
The song says she’s totally a non-committal bad bitch but no guy better be non-committal and break her heart…*scratches head*.
Everything wrong with Lizzo’s Truth Hurts is that it persecutes non-committal men when Lizzo herself seeks non-commitment.
I feel like women that define themselves as bad bitches like this, tend to be the same women that think men must worship the ground they walk on. That doesn’t equate to loving them.
And the idea that men are half-assed for leaving relationships when they’re no longer in love doesn’t align with this “do what’s best for you, self-love attitude” pop culture tries to preach. As I mentioned earlier, women are closing the gap of infidelity and more likely to initiate divorce when dealing with unhappiness in marriage even where it exists as a typical ebb and flow that exists in all relationships.
Is Lizzo just suggesting that in order to be a great man and continue to be a great man, we have to stay in relationship situations no matter what? Surely not, since after all, she self-confessed to greatness in being non-committal and not letting other people hold her back from her goals.
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