Crossing Streams

Apparently, “Bro Balls” Are a Thing

Sometimes I have absolutely no idea how I come across the stuff I do on the internet. One second I’m looking at some guy doing the Git Up Challenge and somehow that leads me to the Facebook page of my coworker’s sister’s younger cousin’s friend’s Instagram which leads me to a random Urban Dictionary page that leads to the obscure discovery of “bro balls”.

What the hell are “Bro Balls”?

Think “blue balls”, but entirely not sexual and more to do with the pent up excitement of some awesome time with your buddy being straight up ruined by his shitty girlfriend.

If “blue balls” is the sensation that occurs when you get aroused with your girlfriend only to be interrupted right before your man seed is ready to set sail, then “bro balls” is when you have a day of chillaxing planned only for it to be canceled last minute.

You’ve got your thirty-rack of Busch in the fridge, hot wings on order from Dominos, and the UFC fight pre-ordered on PPV. You have a major bro-rection and then you get a text.

“Sorry man! Stacy’s mom flew in this weekend and Stacy wants me to stick around the apartment. I can’t come over.”

Dammit, Stacy and her bromance crushing. She just caused some serious “bro balls”!

Who can blame him though? Hot moms are the shit!


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Landon

Hi, I spewed out all the shit you just read! I like long walks on the beach (but I'm mostly surrounded by cornfields), challenging the status quo of the dating scene, fucking all the rules of dating and encouraging men to live their best life. When I'm not trying to keep the lights on around here and raise two little girls, you can find me drinking and partying - you know the key Wallstreet success...ballin'.

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