So I just reached over and I relieved him…[#nohomo]– Bob Broberg (Taking ‘Bros before Hoes’ too far.)
Girlfriends are great. There is an intimate bond you can develop with a girl that just isn’t quite replaceable with your buddies. Oh, and frequent sex from someone that willingly puts up your shit and is down to jerk you off because your team lost is pretty great, too. We won’t tell her you gambled on the game if you won’t.
Listen, as much as we like to joke about ‘bros before hoes’, the person you love in a relationship needs to be a priority – but they should respect that reasonable social lives outside a relationship not only exist but are healthy. So this isn’t about placing your buddy at a higher importance than your relationship with your wife, fiancé, or girlfriend. Instead, this is about the importance of making sure you have a best friend – that buddy you can count on – before you work on finding a girlfriend.
1.) Buddies Increase Your Value in the Dating Scene
Girls find guys that have social lives appealing and interesting, so if you want to find higher value girls to date, this is part of increasing your value. I understand some of you are incredibly introverted and you just want to go home and play video games – there isn’t anything particularly wrong with that. In fact, there’s a good chance you can use that to match with girls who are also introverted and just want to go home and play video games…with you. However, on a far broader level, people appreciate the fact that you’re able to develop bonds with other human beings and not remain secluded from the rest of society like some “old man Withers” that hermits himself away. It shows that, even as a masculine male, you’re able to show love and affection for other people.
So go ahead and give your best brosef a hug!
2.) Buddies Are Your Secure Place to Vent
I hate to break it to you, but about as much as often as your girlfriend says she loves you is about as often as she is going to her friends with all her frustrations about you. The good news is, this venting process is basically the saving grace of your relationship. They’re just sitting there at breakfast over mimosas talking about how their husbands are idiots and coming to the agreement that since all guys are dumb, then they’re happy just venting to each other for a good laugh and settling with your dumbass because at least you’re good in bed.
That’s something you need, too! Otherwise, you’ll just end up dragging your frustrations of the relationship along until they pile up. Having that third-party best friend to vent to in confidence is often the difference between being able to let the little things go and bottling your emotions up that results in making a big deal out of something ridiculous.
For example, let’s say your girlfriend is absolutely horrible at leaving her makeup products all over the bathroom counter! With a buddy, you go over and have a beer, shoot the shit about how it frustrates the fuck out of you that there’s Sephora everywhere you look when you’re taking a shit. He takes a big gulp of his Budweiser, shakes his head, and says “dude, I know exactly how you feel! Jennifer moved in and now I have water bottles in every single room of the house!” You both laugh it off, acknowledge to each other that your girlfriends are smoking hot though and buy some flowers on the way home to kiss your girlfriend on the forehead.
Without your buddy to vent to it goes down completely differently. You sit down to take a dump for about the hundredth time with the vanity looking like a Mary Kay party is about to happen and fucking snap – and now your hot girlfriend is your hot ex-girlfriend.
3.) They’re There For the Break Ups
See now that your girlfriend is someone else’s hot girlfriend, you’re going to be depressed and you’re going to want people around you to drink a beer with. If you don’t have your friendships in order, you probably shouldn’t be working on relationships, because when they don’t work out, you’re the poster child of loneliness and that makes dealing with depressive issues even worse.
Your friends are going to be the ones to encourage you in moving forward. They’ll be the ones that help you realize there are other girls out there and they’ll invite you out, buy you a beer, and get your mind off the reality you’re going through a shitty situation. This is true for almost any hard issue in life. Going through things alone is rough, so falling back on your “bromance” is the key to not feeling absolutely alone.
3.) They’ll Help You Make Better Dating Choices
With your friends surrounding you on your search for love, you’ll make better decisions. Searching for love from a position of absolute loneliness, especially fresh out of a break-up, causes us to make irrational choices. Your friends will be the ones that motivate you and dare you to make a move on the chick at the bar you think is out of your league. They might be doing it for the laughs, but with enough beer and enough of their encouragement you just might do it and you know, you might actually get her number, too.
Never would you have done that without your friends’ encouragement, drunken or not. Your friends know you and they may not say it aloud, but they know your value, too. They’ll push you outside your comfort zone to shoot your shot at the girl you don’t think you have a chance with, because they know you actually do. Guys know when their buddies are attractive (#nohomo) and they pick up on interest other women have in you that you could be completely oblivious to. At the very least, even if they don’t and they’re just trying to embarrass the fuck out of you by yelling “this guy’s single” across the room, sometimes it actually works out favorably for you.
4.) Buddies Give You a Fresh Perspective
You need to have a “bro” before you have a “hoe” because they’re going to be a second opinion for everything in life, including things that maybe you can’t open up to about your girlfriend right away – such as whether you want to stay with her or not.
If you’re dating a gold digger girlfriend (we’re not going to judge you), she’s probably only worried about how much money you’ll make if you’re considering a career change. Your buddy just wants to play some Madden on Saturday afternoon with you and doesn’t give a damn how much money you make, so he’s going to give you a fresh perspective on making your decision – which might include kicking that gold-digging girlfriend to the curb.
Of course, if you’re in a committed relationship with someone, you should put a priority on her decision so long as it is coming from a position of what’s genuine and right for you as an individual and the two of you together. But guess who’s going to help you make sense of that and cut through the bullshit – your best friend. He’s either going to back her opinion up with the best interest of seeing your relationship succeed or he’s going to give you a perspective that contradicts her because he knows she is a conniving bitch and you’re just addicted to her pussy.
5.) Your Girl Can Go Out and You Won’t Get Jealous
You shouldn’t anyway, because if you have no reason not to trust her, then realize she needs some fucking time out with the girls just like you need some time out with the guys. If you do have a reason not to trust her, your friends should be questioning you on why the fuck you’re with her. If you don’t have any friends no one is telling you that. I am, though.
If you can’t trust her, you shouldn’t be with her.
If she has a social life and her girlfriends are always inviting her out for drinks and you’re just sitting at home alone with HBO because your only friend is some dude on Reddit, then you’re going to be overly eager for her arrival in a potentially clingy way. That’s because you’re living in loneliness, you need a group Snapchat to keep you company, a friend to invite over for a beer, a buddy to go out with.
6.) Guys Are Your Side-By-Side Relationship
Girls talk and they talk and they talk…and they talk. They talk about makeup, the drama at work, Kim Kardashian, and their best friend’s Aly’s asshole boyfriend Jeremy they’re so happy you aren’t like.
Guys, not so much…
We like side-by-side companionship. We can go hang out with buddies for hours upon hours just hanging out without anything deep or thoughtful said and feel like we just had the most amazing bonding experience ever. Having that quiet outlet is important, otherwise, you’re going to become overwhelmed with “…blah, blah, blah, People Magazine, blah, blah, blah…” and get frustrated as all hell with your girl.
7.) You Won’t Look Like An Idiot Doing House Projects Alone
Listen, you don’t have to know how to fix absolutely everything around the house and there’s nothing wrong with calling a professional, just make sure you spend a good 10 minutes looking at whatever it is to give your girl the impression there’s a chance you know just enough you could fix it if it wasn’t just outside your abilities.
But even better, invite your buddy over to look at it, too.
- A.) He might actually know how to fix it and now the two of you can work on it together, doing man shit and drinking beer, and she’s all giddy and ready to shower with you when you finish because you guys are such “smart, manly-men” that can change an air filter.
- B.) Neither you or your buddy knows how to fix it and you can defer any questions she has about why it is taking so long to “just being more complicated than you guys thought” and not have to take the blunt embarrassment of being the only guy in the room with substandard knowledge of plumbing.
8.) They Give You Someone to Talk About
Imagine being in a relationship where you don’t say anything to each other and just eat in quiet, have sex, and go to bed.
Alright, so that might be kind of nice at times, but women are going to be able to appreciate if you can at least hold a conversation with her 2 years in as easily as the first date.
Your girlfriend might not know what a turbocharger is, they might not know a thing about Mortal Combat, and they might not give two damns about who is going to the Super Bowl, but if you bring up that your best friend Joe just got a new girlfriend, she’s going to eat that shit up. I’m not going to come right out and say that girls love to gossip, but let’s just say they do love
the concept of gossip.
I’m probably generalizing every female out there, because some love cars, some love sports, and some love video games, but the vast majority of girls I’ve dated have one thing in common – they love hearing knowing as much about my friends as they do me.
Now, I’m not saying you should start gossiping about your best friend. We’re guys, that’s not really what we do. That said, just having the ability to say “hey, you know my buddy Jim just got a new job” or “Ken and Rosy just filed for divorce” is the type of conversation starters girls find juicy and spark deeper conversations.
9.) They Give You A Third Wheel & Couples Dates
Romantic dates with just the two of you are great, but since you’re practically spending every waking hour with a person, you’ve probably already talked about everything under the sun as it has happened. This can lead to a boring conversation at a time it needs to be the best – date night.
How do you fix this? Third wheels and couples dates. Having an extra mouth or two to initiate discussions can be a major player in sparking up the night.
- The two of you playing wing couple to your third wheel? Fun!
- The other couple dragging you the dance floor? Awesome!
- The Jones’ talking about politics? Good luck!
- Them inviting you back to their hotel room? Outside the scope of this blog post…….
10.) She Already Has a Bridesmaid Picked Out
You ever watched the movie “I Love You, Man“? Don’t be that guy.
Your girlfriend has been waiting to get married since she was a little girl. She and her friends have been talking about the big day with each other for years. She has watched many of them get married already.
In short, she already has this thing planned out…including who is standing up with her. So if you don’t have anybody in mind, you’ve got a problem on your hand buddy.
If you’re out there searching for “the one” then you need to recognize you’re not going to want to be the loser that doesn’t have anybody to give a shitty best man toast. If you’re waiting until you find the bride before you find the person who plans your bachelor party, you’re probably behind the gun. Oh, and the best man speech is going to suck because you don’t have a buddy that’s known you for years with tons of embarrassing material to pull from.
So, where do you find a buddy?
The same way you find a girlfriend…err…maybe not exactly the same way. You put yourself out there. You go to places to meet people with a focus on meeting people and not meeting girls. You download apps (hint: not Grindr unless you want butt buddies) that emphasize meeting others, not for dating, but for friendship. You peruse your social networks and find guys you think you can get along with and as long as you’re not coming off like you’re trying to sell them on a pyramid scheme or MLM, you’ll start building connections.
So get out there and find yourself a “bro”, bro! We’d spot you, but you probably live halfway across the continent. Feel free to connect with us on Facebook or Twitter though – it is 100% a step in the right direction!
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