Finance 101 and Sex Ed are at completely opposite ends of the education spectrum, but since we’re all awesome bros around here we’re going to let you in on a little secret that meshes those courses together and saves you money on condoms.
If you’re just going down to the local 7-Eleven to awkwardly buy your condoms with a wad of cash, you’re doing it wrong. I mean, you’re doing it totally right if that’s a last-minute alternative to barebacking the random girl you’re on the way to visit. But in comparison to discreetly buying your condoms in advance at a discount and getting an increase on your tax return for doing so, you can certainly do better. And I’m going to show you how!
What is an HSA?
We are not exactly finance experts around here, so I’m going to keep this rather simple. An HSA is a Health Savings Account. It is money you set aside every year specifically for healthcare-related purposes and medical expenses.
Most people just use their HSAs for copays, doctor visits, contacts, glasses, medicine, and other obviously medical-related expenses.
Except, there’s a lot of expenses that fall under health-related that people don’t even consider. Things like healthcare-related transportation, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, and yes, even condoms, among a variety of other products all fall under HSA eligible expenses.
That means, you could be getting a tax deduction for every dollar spent buying condoms – or ya know, in case they fail, Plan B pills.
Start By Opening An HSA
In order to start getting a tax-deduction on your condom purchases, you’ll need to open an HSA. I recommend opening an account with LivelyMe (they’ll even give you $10 free just for opening an absolutely free account).
Then Buy Some Condoms
Technically, you can buy condoms anywhere and then just upload the itemized receipt to your HSA dashboard to prove it was a healthcare-related purchase.
But do you seriously want to buy overpriced condoms at the liquor store when you know you’re going to be using them enough to justify buying in bulk? At least buy them ahead of time so you don’t break the mood on the way to her apartment. I mean, if you learn how to do the Cooch Gobbler Combo, you’ll need to buy condoms in bulk from all your good dick reviews.
Now, all you have to do is load up your LivelyMe debit card to purchase your condoms and upload your receipt after you pay. You’ll never pay taxes for condoms again and they’ll be delivered so you’re always ready to get lucky. The amount of money you save is obviously dependent upon how many condoms you need to buy each year, but it is obviously a lot if you’re fans of ours – gotta protect that keyboard, bro!
Didn’t know accounting could be so sexy, huh?
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