Why aren’t more guys like you?– Girls Who Think You’re Sweet…Who Aren’t Sexually Attracted to You
Let’s get one thing straight, embracing the friendzone is not about getting in touch with your feminine side and allowing yourself to be a barf bag to a girl’s emotional vomit. It’s about realizing you’re worth more than wrapping yourself up over one woman and that just because she sees you only as a platonic friend doesn’t mean she has zero value in your life.
Not every girl (obviously) is going to find you relationship material, even if she befriends you, but that doesn’t mean those girls aren’t valuable assets in your life.
You could just discard girls you’re crushing on aside that don’t find the same interest in you to protect your emotions, but what if instead you just accepted that they can still have value in your life in an effort to surround ourselves in a way that increase our social networks and the perspective of value others see in us.
Boy Friend vs Boyfriend
The difference between “boy friend” and “boyfriend” is a subtle gap between words. For anyone that has caught the feels for a girl from that position, that space can be crushing. Most dating information exists about avoiding the friend zone (if at all possible for some girls) or potentially transitioning out of it (good luck, bruh), but unfortunately, that just isn’t always possible.
A girl can find you to have some of the absolute greatest qualities of any guy around her – and as many of us have learned – that doesn’t mean she wants your penis anywhere in or around her vagina.
And we can get butthurt about that all we want and claim girls just like “bad boys”, but if we are going to be fair there are a helluva lot of girls out there with amazing personalities that we wouldn’t want to put our dicks in…well, I mean, maybe we would.
And this idea that girls are “so shallow” bothers a lot of guys – I’m looking at you “niceguys” – because we often want to rely on our kind gestures and care to offset the way a girl’s brain is wired on her male interests.
If a girl likes the tatted up, punk rocker types who jams guitar and bartends until his band takes off, no amount of flowers and compliments are going to make her realize she gets wet for polos, jorts, and a good Christian man.Sorry Joe in Accounting…
We become frustrated when we have over-invested ourselves into someone that just can’t see us as anything more than a “brotherly” figure.
That frustration often leads to desperation and when we have exhausted that desperation, we either abandon an otherwise great friendship to protect emotions or continue on holding onto a thread of hope and overlook other opportunities thinking someday “she will see the light” (*groan*) of your commitment to her.
But what if neither of those is the right move?
What if rather than abandoning a friendship with a female that doesn’t return feelings or hanging on for dear life to a fantasy that may never come true, we instead welcome the friendzone in an effort to expand our network in a way that makes us more appealing, more social, more approachable and better connected to other potential matches.
The Friendzone Could Make You More Appealing
Here’s the thing, just because you know you’re friendzoned doesn’t mean anyone else does. You might be best friends with the hot girl next door. Years of playing house in the back yard might have gotten you all hot and bothered, but when you go to the local pool and she is laying there in her string bikini that you’ll never have a chance of seeing under, absolutely no one else has a clue that’s the case.
For all they know, you’re going to go home and wreck every hole on her body if you hold yourself in a confident, masculine manner around her. The friendzone is creating an illusion of attraction between you to other people that don’t actually exist.
You know what girls often find attractive? They like guys that other girls also find attractive. See where this is going? Girls have a fucking herd mentality about what they find attractive.
You can be living in your mom’s basement, jobless, and balding with erectile dysfunction and if girls are still spending time with you as a friend, you’re going to be piquing some interest.
The Friendzone Increases Your Social Network
Of course, you’re probably already friends on Facebook with the girl you’ve been crushing for years over while she tells you about her terrible dates, but I’m talking about your social network beyond the Internet. Part of the key to dating is just expanding your network of friends, male or female, and then putting yourself out there. That’s how you get invited to do stuff and getting invited to do stuff is how you meet additional people that will, in turn, invite you to do stuff as well.
So instead of worrying so much about whether Amber you’ve known since 3rd grade is finally going to hook up with you after inviting you to a bar with a group of friends, how about you just go out and focus on having a good time. Otherwise, you’re going to be so zoned in on Amber you’ll miss out on the girl in the corner by the jukebox who has been eyeing you all evening, would probably tell you to put it in her butt and let you stick around for breakfast.
The Friendzone Makes You More Approachable
Remember how hanging out with other females, in general, makes you more appealing? God, I hope so since it was only a couple sections up. The next level beyond that is that it makes you more approachable. Seeing you hanging around other girls not only makes you more interesting, but women also trust they’ll be safer in your presence and can use the other females around you as a lead into meeting you.
Imagine you’re at the club on a Saturday night and you’re with a group of guys (because, well, Saturdays are for the boys). They’re there to help push and support you to approach women, or at least razz you about it. Girls in a lot of cases just aren’t comfortable approaching a group of guys, so the pressure is on you to be the absolute pursuer.
Now, flip that around to you being out with your buddies and you run into your friend Nikki who is out with her friends. You’re all out on the dance floor with them, other girls are talking to Nikki, and suddenly there are other girls interacting with you and in your space simply because of your friendship with Nikki. You now have more potential for your female friends to make the introductions.
How neat is that? Heh, that’s purty neat!
Better Connected to Other Potential Matches
You can really sum it up pretty short and sweet.
Bud, you might think it is the end of the world your female friend put you in the friend zone, but listen up. Like, she’s probably going to be the one that introduces you to your future wife.
Girls have friends. Let me repeat, girls have friends. They talk. They talk about guys. They talk about dating. They talk about single guys. And you know what, if that girl is really your friend, then she is putting a good word out there about you to other girls. Talk about fucking value!
So when her friend Marissa breaks up with her boyfriend and a couple of months go by and she tells your friend, Katherine, she just wants a nice, sweet guy, guess who Katherine is going to have in mind and conveniently invite you out. See above under “The Friend Zone Increases Your Social Network”.
The friend zone isn’t ideal, it sucks sometimes, and in an idealistic world we’d have the girl our heart longs for – but I hate to break it to you, Chuck, this world isn’t ideal. So here’s what you do, you realize there are a shit ton of beautiful women out there and instead of feeling like a tool that you’ve been friend-zoned, you stop giving a shit.
And you wanna know something? Remember, women want what other girls want. You forget about your friend Katherine when you start banging Marissa every night and suddenly Katherine just might hear what she’s been missing out on.
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