My First Valentine’s As A Divorced Dad

Struggled to get a good pic before bath time, but enjoyed spending Valentine’s Day with two very special little girls and swapped a “C-Note” priced dinner and romance for McDonalds and bedtime stories.

– My Valentines 2019

I hope I set a precedent today and every day of unconditional love to my daughters. Historically, I’d use this holiday to write some mushy-gushy romantic stuff that’s too “extra” for most of the other days on the calendar, but this year in addition to spending it with my daughters, I am just taking this opportunity to reflect on the journey of self-love and improvement I’ve been enjoying.

Often, this blog will take on a slightly inappropriate and exaggerated persona of bro humor; however, I with this post I wanted to get raw and authentic. It has been that journey, after all, that encouraged me to launch this blog as both a place to share my thoughts on improving as a man while also having a little carefree fun along the way.

For the most part, lately, I’ve put “swiping right” on hold to focus on myself and some of my personal ambitions – some of which would be a weird flex to share but that I’m super proud to have accomplished these past few months. Sometimes, I reflect on the perceived selfishness of some of my goals, but remind myself that ultimately the decisions I make today are laying a foundation of my life “tomorrow” to be a valuable partner, loved dad, and not just a lesser liability to society, but a self-sufficient and contributing member to the betterment of that society.

Some of my goals were certainly financial, but most of the goals for better loving myself were educational, and one involved turning more pages of books rather than flipping through channels. I had objectives of stepping further outside my comfort zone, attempting to meet exercise goals amidst a horrible infection, exchanging late nights socializing with new people in the East Village and Court Avenue with making sure I was getting adequate sleep, doing a better job of eating an actual breakfast instead of grabbing a Hostess, and one of my biggest goals lately was ensuring I didn’t forget to satisfy my need to recharge in introversion so I didn’t exhaust myself in extroverted situations.

I became so enamored with going out, making experiences, and expanding my network that I neglected that living my best life might actually require me to embrace the other introverted side of my personality by saying to others and myself “Nah, I just need to stay in and be reclusive tonight“.

I’ve learned that sometimes the most selfless thing we can do is be a little bit selfish, for our value to others is greater when we better value ourselves.

Being empathetic, thoughtful, and supportive is great, but don’t forget about yourself!

It’s okay to be a little selfish!

  • It is why parents deserve a vacation without the kiddos just as much as the children ought to enjoy sharing in family adventures.
  • It is the justification for why it is okay to balance our children’s extra-curricular activities while ensuring we aren’t entirely sacrificing our own hobbies that give us identities as individuals above and beyond being a parent.
  • It is the basis for why it isn’t selfish to tell your friends you would rather stay in and nerd out on PlayStation this weekend and it is the core of why it is healthy to tell your spouse you need some time with the girls/guys.
  • It is why we can generously love each other and grow with respect and appreciation for the things the people we love enjoy without necessitating that we conform to their interests absolutely or surrender to them what makes us uniquely ourselves – it is after all in our mysterious differences as much in our aligned similarities that people find each other attractive.

And it is why after spending hours perusing racks of dresses for my daughter and entirely expecting to spoiler her with a budget-busting outfit, I ended up reeling it in and ultimately settled on something more reasonable so I could stop at Halberstadt’s and pick up a matching blue tie and both look our best at the Princess & Papa Ball Saturday. It is situations like this that I often begin to debate myself in my mind and that I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating an identity of selfishness or stinginess.

I have to end up grounding myself in the reality of my motivations and that what is sacrificed today is deferring to a more rewarding future for them tomorrow.

My 6-year old won’t care if she has a $60 dress or $200 dress, she will love every moment of that dance, but as a 40-year-old she will remember if her dad spent the vast majority of his life as a confident, happy person who made decisions that allow the last years of his life to be just as enjoyable as they are when she was 6.

Financial advisors would hardly find this to be a problem and seeking financial security is not inherently greedy; however, even the best of habits can be addictive and ultimately damaging. What I’ve been working through for myself is this somewhat unhealthy and vicious cycle of a mindset where I’ll constantly be suggesting to myself, for example, that if I don’t buy a Ford Mustang this year I can afford a nicer one next year. Yet, the calendar rolls over and the cycle continues. I’ll think, I don’t really need a Mustang at all and think of all the stuff I could do with that money (and yet never follow through). So I’ve been doing a lot of work improving on balancing an allocation toward entrepreneurial goals in a way that doesn’t sacrifice experiencing what life has to offer with what I’ve already accomplished.



#1stWorldProblems

It might seem petty, but it is hard for me to draw those lines sometimes in a manner that can turn a positive into a negative and so I have to remind myself two things:

  • I can go my entire life pondering over building a twin-turbo Mustang or wake up one day, realize life is hella short and buy the damn car.
  • And secondly, as long as I’m meeting my obligations in life, then seeing the world, splurging a bit, and being rationally hedonistic on occasion doesn’t detract from putting my children first in life. Putting some priority on my own dreams and ambitions don’t somehow mean I’m not putting a priority on my children, because ensuring my own happiness goes a long way to encouraging theirs.

When Tabitha (my oldest) arrived, it was like my brain was immediately rewired and the motivations for my actions changed.

  • When you have kids, contributing money into an IRA isn’t just about retiring on the beach, it is about not being a burden to your children’s future and reliant on insufficient or potentially non-existent social safety nets.
  • Getting healthy becomes less about impressing others and more about living to share a long life with those you love.
  • Saving cash isn’t about building that twin-turbo Cobra, it is about liquidity in times of hardship, helping two little girls finance their way to higher education, and giving away two future brides without them stressing about the cost of saying “yes, to the dress”.
  • Enjoying a Saturday night in more often isn’t so much about waking refreshed without a hangover and more so about showing my daughters that the stress of the week can be resolved with a family movie night and popcorn beyond a reliance on washing weekly stress away with a rum and coke.

But most importantly, spending Valentines this year is not about sulking in loneliness and spoiling myself with the chocolates I would rather gift to someone else, but rather showing these two little girls that they are so worth loving, that they already have a mom and dad who love them unconditionally, and we have everything we already need so we don’t need to be impatient and desperate for Cupid to work his magic. We want to embrace patience and happily support ourselves until just the right woman comes along, that not only makes me happy but that I’ve verified is everything these two little girls deserve as a motherly figure under my roof as well. Until then, I’ll be here striving to love her before maybe I’ve even met her by trying to be the best absolute version of myself I can be for her.

And that’s my mushy-gushy Valentine’s post as a single dad this year who is loving where he is at in life.


Sharing is caring, so slap those social share buttons!  Then give this article a comment and always remember bro, scrub your balls.

Click here to join the conversation.

Landon

Hi, I spewed out all the shit you just read! I like long walks on the beach (but I'm mostly surrounded by cornfields), challenging the status quo of the dating scene, fucking all the rules of dating and encouraging men to live their best life. When I'm not trying to keep the lights on around here and raise two little girls, you can find me drinking and partying - you know the key Wallstreet success...ballin'.

68 thoughts on “My First Valentine’s As A Divorced Dad

  • March 17, 2023 at 1:13 pm
    Permalink

    Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you, However I am going through troubles with your RSS. I donít
    understand why I am unable to join it. Is there anybody else getting identical RSS problems?
    “성인망가” Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    Reply
  • March 8, 2023 at 6:09 pm
    Permalink

    What side effects can this medication cause? Read information now.
    https://amoxila.store/ amoxicillin 500mg without prescription
    Everything information about medication. Read information now.

    Reply
  • March 8, 2023 at 11:37 am
    Permalink

    What side effects can this medication cause? Read here.

    [url=https://zithromaxa.fun/]zithromax azithromycin[/url]
    https://amoxila.store/ cost of amoxicillin
    [url=https://amoxila.store/]buy amoxicillin online with paypal[/url]
    Drugs information sheet. Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics.

    Reply
  • March 7, 2023 at 2:08 am
    Permalink

    Drug information. Read information now.

    [url=https://prednisoned.top/]over the counter prednisone cheap[/url]

    [url=https://zithromaxa.fun/]zithromax 500mg price[/url]
    Read information now. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.

    Reply
  • March 6, 2023 at 8:38 pm
    Permalink

    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Read information now.

    https://propeciaf.store/ how to get cheap propecia tablets
    Actual trends of drug. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.

    Reply
  • March 3, 2023 at 2:18 am
    Permalink

    Medscape Drugs & Diseases. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.online/#]tadalafil soft gel capsule 20mg[/url]
    Everything about medicine. safe and effective drugs are available.

    Reply
  • March 3, 2023 at 1:54 am
    Permalink

    Read now. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.
    orginal cialis
    Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.

    Reply
  • March 2, 2023 at 10:30 pm
    Permalink

    Best and news about drug. Drugs information sheet.
    https://tadalafil1st.com/# cialis dapoxetine overnight shipping canada
    Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side. Long-Term Effects.

    Reply
  • March 2, 2023 at 8:09 am
    Permalink

    Read information now. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.
    https://tadalafil1st.online/# cheap cialis online generic
    Best and news about drug. Get here.

    Reply
  • March 1, 2023 at 9:58 pm
    Permalink

    Magnificent website. Plenty of helpful information here. I¦m sending it to a few buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks in your sweat!

    Reply
  • March 1, 2023 at 9:23 pm
    Permalink

    Medscape Drugs & Diseases. Drugs information sheet.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.online/#]pharmacy online tadalafil[/url]
    Medicament prescribing information. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.

    Reply
  • March 1, 2023 at 6:20 am
    Permalink

    Cautions. Read here.
    https://tadalafil1st.online/# tadalafil tablets
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.

    Reply
  • February 28, 2023 at 7:28 pm
    Permalink

    Read information now. Drugs information sheet.
    tadalafil 20 mg mexico
    Long-Term Effects. Everything what you want to know about pills.

    Reply
  • February 28, 2023 at 2:30 pm
    Permalink

    Read information now. All trends of medicament.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.online/#]tadalafil 20 mg price canada[/url]
    Commonly Used Drugs Charts. Get warning information here.

    Reply
  • February 28, 2023 at 6:59 am
    Permalink

    Read information now. Drugs information sheet.
    tadalafil free shipping
    Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. All trends of medicament.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 11:27 am
    Permalink

    Some trends of drugs. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.
    https://viagrapillsild.com/# viagra online shopping asia
    Everything information about medication. Get here.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 7:10 am
    Permalink

    Long-Term Effects. Everything what you want to know about pills.
    [url=https://viagrapillsild.com/#]sildenafil 25 mg buy[/url]
    Get here. Actual trends of drug.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 6:02 am
    Permalink

    What side effects can this medication cause? What side effects can this medication cause?
    viagra after prostate removal
    Everything information about medication. Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2023 at 2:33 pm
    Permalink

    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.
    https://viagrapillsild.online/# buy sildenafil online
    earch our drug database. Some trends of drugs.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2023 at 6:58 am
    Permalink

    All trends of medicament. earch our drug database.
    https://viagrapillsild.com/# how do i get viagra in australia
    Everything information about medication. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 3:12 pm
    Permalink

    Top 100 Searched Drugs. Read information now.
    maple leaf pharmacy in canada
    safe and effective drugs are available. Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 2:59 pm
    Permalink

    Best and news about drug. Some trends of drugs.
    [url=https://canadianfast.online/#]buy prescription drugs without doctor[/url]
    Long-Term Effects. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 12:58 pm
    Permalink

    Actual trends of drug. Some trends of drugs.
    https://canadianfast.com/# prescription drugs online without doctor
    Get here. Get information now.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 9:14 am
    Permalink

    Top 100 Searched Drugs. safe and effective drugs are available.
    pharmacy in canada
    Actual trends of drug. Long-Term Effects.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 7:44 am
    Permalink

    Everything what you want to know about pills. Best and news about drug.
    [url=https://canadianfast.com/#]buy prescription drugs without doctor[/url]
    safe and effective drugs are available. Top 100 Searched Drugs.

    Reply
  • February 18, 2023 at 10:05 pm
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Actual trends of drug.
    https://canadianfast.online/# buy prescription drugs from canada cheap
    Get here. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2023 at 7:51 am
    Permalink

    Medscape Drugs & Diseases. Some trends of drugs.
    https://edonlinefast.com medication for ed dysfunction
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 11:34 pm
    Permalink

    Drug information. Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics.
    [url=https://edonlinefast.com]best ed treatment pills[/url]
    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Actual trends of drug.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 2:36 pm
    Permalink

    Medscape Drugs & Diseases. Commonly Used Drugs Charts.
    https://edonlinefast.com ed medications
    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Commonly Used Drugs Charts.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 9:26 am
    Permalink

    Some trends of drugs. safe and effective drugs are available.
    https://edonlinefast.com natural remedies for ed
    Cautions. Best and news about drug.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 9:08 am
    Permalink

    п»їMedicament prescribing information. Long-Term Effects.
    ed drugs list
    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Everything information about medication.

    Reply
  • February 15, 2023 at 6:16 am
    Permalink

    Drug information. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.
    [url=https://clomiphenes.online]where can i buy cheap clomid[/url]
    Get here. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.

    Reply
  • February 14, 2023 at 11:50 am
    Permalink

    Long-Term Effects. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. [url=https://amoxicillins.com/]can i buy amoxicillin over the counter in australia[/url]
    Top 100 Searched Drugs. Some trends of drugs.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 5:55 pm
    Permalink

    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Get information now. https://amoxicillins.online/ amoxicillin for sale
    Read information now. Cautions.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 5:29 pm
    Permalink

    Everything about medicine. safe and effective drugs are available.
    https://clomiphenes.com how to get generic clomid pills
    Get here. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 11:52 am
    Permalink

    Everything what you want to know about pills. Long-Term Effects. can you buy amoxicillin uk
    Read here. Everything information about medication.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 1:32 am
    Permalink

    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Top 100 Searched Drugs. amoxicillin 875 mg tablet
    earch our drug database. earch our drug database.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2023 at 9:33 pm
    Permalink

    Cautions. Get warning information here.
    https://nexium.top/# where buy nexium no prescription
    What side effects can this medication cause? What side effects can this medication cause?

    Reply
  • February 10, 2023 at 7:16 pm
    Permalink

    Read now. Read information now.
    [url=https://mobic.store/#]can you get cheap mobic online[/url]
    Top 100 Searched Drugs. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2023 at 12:55 pm
    Permalink

    Everything what you want to know about pills. Drug information.
    https://levaquin.science/# buy levaquin pills
    Generic Name. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2023 at 10:56 am
    Permalink

    Read now. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.
    [url=https://nexium.top/#]where buy nexium without prescription[/url]
    All trends of medicament. What side effects can this medication cause?

    Reply
  • February 9, 2023 at 6:22 pm
    Permalink

    Commonly Used Drugs Charts. Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. cost cheap avodart tablets
    Everything what you want to know about pills. All trends of medicament.

    Reply
  • February 9, 2023 at 12:02 am
    Permalink

    п»їMedicament prescribing information. Commonly Used Drugs Charts.
    https://nexium.top/# can you buy cheap nexium pill
    Read now. Everything what you want to know about pills.

    Reply
  • January 28, 2023 at 6:04 am
    Permalink

    https://amoxil.science/# amoxicillin 500mg for sale uk
    [url=https://amoxil.science/#]buy amoxil[/url] where can i buy amoxicillin online

    Reply
  • January 25, 2023 at 11:17 pm
    Permalink

    [url=http://motiliumtabs.online/]where can i buy motilium[/url]

    Reply
  • January 21, 2023 at 4:03 am
    Permalink

    [url=https://zanaflex.sbs/]tizanidine 2mg tablets[/url] [url=https://hydroxychloroquine.charity/]plaquenil generic[/url]

    Reply
  • January 19, 2023 at 11:03 pm
    Permalink

    Dear broscrubyourballs.com Administrator, very same here: Link Text

    Reply
    • February 28, 2023 at 11:05 pm
      Permalink

      You are experiencing eyestrain or headaches, especially when reading or using the computer for a prolonged period of time where to buy cialis online PET and PET CT imaging of gynecological malignancies present role and future promise

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

girl pointing at camera

Hey, Bro’!!

Get Our Newsletter

Think she’s hot?

You should signup!

[ALO-EASYMAIL-PAGE]

Nah, take my man card…