Offending Myself From My Own Soapbox

With her head upon my shoulders, it is like all the stressful weight they’ve been carrying falls away.

Life is stressful and I’m not always sure I’m prepared to deal with everything it throws at me, so I sit here questioning in my first blog post if I’m really qualified to be encouraging others in their lives when I often feel overwhelmed and disqualified. 

In many ways, I believe this blog will probably be preaching to myself, because it is as much a place to share some fun as it is a journal of my experiences and an opportunity to reflect on my mistakes and the lessons I’ve learned. 

We’re really all in this together.

Am I parenting expert? Absolutely not!

I’m just a typical dad – a single dad at that…

Am I a relationship expert?

Of course, not! Im a single dad.

That said, I’m convinced that it does take two people to build up a relationship and keep the foundation strong, and in that same vein it takes two people to crumble it. As an individual who has been divorced, it feels easy to be the target of criticism that I myself must have contributed to the deterioration of my prior marriage. I would agree with that.

In some ways, I could pinpoint exactly where I went wrong and in other aspects, there will be questions I will never know the answer to…and I’ve come to learn to just live with that.

After my divorce, I spent several months routinely going through counseling and working through my flaws, improving upon my existing strengths, and processing through the emotional fallout. I learned about loving ourselves and being happy and healthy, not just as a partner but as an individual – individuality perhaps the thing that goes most ignored and sacrificed in a relationship.

But none of those things make me an authority on dating, marriage, or relationships at all.

Which means, there’s no PhD behind the words.

The reality is that this blog isn’t about being some moral high ground toward other males. In a lot of ways, it is simply the result of me taking a hard look at my own life and putting my reflections into words.

This blog will take a look at my own personal dating ruts and also be a place to share some of the stories I’ve heard from women as I’ve gotten to know them.  Dating has been pretty eye-opening when I take an opportunity to hear the stories about how much damage guys have done to girls.  Whether it is a dad or an ex-boyfriend, husband, or boss, some of this shit is really depressing and much of it isn’t petty stuff either.  There are some really deep-rooted issues we have as a society that I feel like I have been naïve to existing prior to entering the dating scene and I think this is as much of a voice to all men that we need to do better as it is to myself.

Listen, I’m far from perfect and I’ll never be perfect. I have made some big mistakes and small mistakes in my life that I’ll own up to and reflect on whether my little girls would be appreciative of my actions in their own relationships. Sadly, I’m ashamed to say that they would probably not always be.

You see, some people have a personality preference for being single, but I think more often than not, most humans are relational creatures. As a guy, I certainly have my male “bros” I hang out with and they love me and support me, but there’s something to be said about intimate touch and an emotional connection that at some point in our lives we find ourselves longing for because our existing friendships aren’t able to give us that substance.

And the thing is, all of you looking for that connection are right there with me. I am no better than you and I’m struggling and questioning myself in many areas of my life, including of course dating. In that process, I’m putting my thought into words. And you know what, I’m probably going to offend some guys, but I can also assure you that I’ll probably offend myself in a lot of ways reading this at various points in my life.

Sharing is caring, so slap those social share buttons!  Then give this article a comment and always remember bro, scrub your balls.

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Hi, I spewed out all the shit you just read! I like long walks on the beach (but I'm mostly surrounded by cornfields), challenging the status quo of the dating scene, fucking all the rules of dating and encouraging men to live their best life. When I'm not trying to keep the lights on around here and raise two little girls, you can find me drinking and partying - you know the key Wallstreet success...ballin'.

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