5 Reasons 1st Dates At Movies Suck

Hey, you want to go catch a movie (so I can awkwardly try and put my arm around you)?

– The only motive to a movie date.

Movie dates are the classic go-to date first idea. And a shitty idea at that, especially if you mix in dinner. Dinner is marginally better in and of itself, but add in a movie and unless it is something you both wanted to see, you’re making a pretty long commitment for a first date. If you’re just thirsty to settle for anything then maybe your time isn’t of huge value, but I’d rather not waste time and money on someone I’m not really keen on ever seeing again so I like to keep first dates simple, minimally commital, and while I still prefer paying (I’m not going to argue about it if she insists) I don’t want to tie up a huge sum of money into an evening that isn’t going to result in me:

  • Getting laid.
  • Meeting someone I’d genuinely like to meet again.
  • Finding girlfriend material.

So, here are my 5 reasons I absolutely despise movies for a first date.

1.) Not A Great Place to Chat

So maybe you chit-chat a little over dinner before or after the movie, but the whole point of a first date is to get to know someone. A movie theater is not a great venue to do that and you end up spending the bulk majority of the date in silence. If you try to talk, you’re disturbing everyone else and making yourself look like a complete idiot to your date.

And forget reading their body language.

You’ll be sitting in a dark room, staring at a giant screen, sitting side-by-side and facing away from the very person you should be making eye contact with. On the bright side, depending upon the movie you’re seeing, you might see a pair of boobs that night…but they’ll probably be up on the big screen because you won’t be developing a connection with your date to see hers.

2.) Flirting is Damn Near Impossible

The dark and quiet setting is assumed to come off as relaxing and a bit intimate – a welcoming invitation to slide your arm up and around her with a stretch and yawn…OR NOT!

What a fucking awkward situation you’re putting this girl in.

She doesn’t know you and your little motion to snuggle in close is probably going to come off super creepy. Not a great vibe to start off with! Best case scenario, she thinks you’re kind of cute and lets you get away with it. Worst case scenario, you’re coming on too hard with an absolutely uninspired move.

3.) The Success of the Date is Too Dependent Upon the Movie

If the movie absolutely sucks, your date is probably not going to have a great memory of her time with you there. At least if the place you chose for dinner sucks you can use your sparkling personality to offset her overcooked steak.

The first date is a key date. You want it to be fun and conversational, preferably unique and not just some typical idea like – oh, I don’t know – the very thing we’re talking about right now.

4.) Movie Dates Are Time Consuming

A movie is going to take – what – 2-3 hours. That’s 2-3 hours you’ll never, ever get back. If you wanted to see the movie anyway, justifiable, but if you’re just on a movie date for the sake of being on a date, you’re investing time into this date that you’re never, ever going to get back again.

You could be calling up your mom on the phone to tell her how much you love her instead, bruh! You could be at home playing Xbox with your buddies! You could be fishing, watching porn, anything for 2-3 hours that would be more enjoyable in hindsight.

Don’t give this girl any more of your time that you can never get back until you have a better idea that she is the type of girl you’d want to give your time to.

And the same goes for her.

Some girls might say yes out of obligation, but some of them are really going to value their time and avoid first dates that require too much of an investment of it. If you instead ask them out for a drink, now you’ve got a date that requires much less commitment and as such, much easier to say yes to.

5.) You’ve Now Committed Yourself Out of Obligation to Date 2

Since you’re coming out of the first date knowing absolutely jack shit about her, you now have to go on a second date just to figure out if her brain functions as good as she looks. These are the type of things you should be filtering out on the first date so you’re not – wait for it, wait for it – wasting your TIME & MONEY!

Maybe she has the body that makes you feel like you’re holding “pocket Aces”, but investing in a movie date is like raising with a shit ton of chips on the poker table before you’ve even seen the flop. Now you have to go on a second date just to figure out if the cards you have will make a decent hand because you’re overcommitted to a date that ends up being a mediocre flop. Avoid investing too much time and money into a girl you don’t fully understand. To be fair, we don’t fully understand any fucking woman, but you get my point.

Go on a walk, grab a coffee, grab a beer, go roller-skating, or go paint a canvas for an hour. I don’t know, but don’t fucking go to the movies. It’s played out, it’s unoriginal, and it isn’t effective.

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Hi, I spewed out all the shit you just read! I like long walks on the beach (but I'm mostly surrounded by cornfields), challenging the status quo of the dating scene, fucking all the rules of dating and encouraging men to live their best life. When I'm not trying to keep the lights on around here and raise two little girls, you can find me drinking and partying - you know the key Wallstreet success...ballin'.

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