Your pickup line shouldn’t be a pickup line.
Fact is, coming in with a pun of the girl’s name likely isn’t original and is probably going to piss her off. There’s nothing wrong with well-crafted pick up lines – you are trying to get her attention after all – but avoid cheesy and obvious attempts at pickup lines.
While Tinder tends to be the mecca of sexual innuendo, coming in hot with something pervy stands a strong chance of rejection. In most cases, you’re better off working toward the goal of hinting at something sexual once you’ve developed some rapport.
In a lot of ways, being clever and witty is a safer bet than attempts at being hilarious. In fact, a lot of times, I’ve found success by using my despise for pickup lines as a pickup line. To do so, I simply tell the person “I don’t really have a pickup line, I just thought you were pretty and wanted to strike up a conversation.”
That works well because it completely goes against the grain of what so many others are trying to do without devolving into something as boring as “hey, what’s up?”. The girls find it flattering you’ve complimented their appearance while also finding such an introduction a nice change of pace from an onslaught of mildly funny pickup lines.
Send positive vibes.
It might seem obvious, but while depression affects a lot of people, it isn’t very attractive. Hating your job, constantly being bored, or otherwise coming off as sad, lonely and depressed is simply going to make you seem…well…sad, lonely and depressed.
And yet, I’ll hear of guys that come into conversations about work with zero enthusiasm.
“Work is work” they’ll say. “It pays the bills” they’ll answer.
I’m not suggesting you completely lie about your life, but if you’re giving off unhappy vibes you’re not giving off the impression that you’re someone worth keeping around. And if you’re that unhappy with the way you’re life is headed, maybe it is time to make some changes before entering the dating game.
Be more direct with your questions.
One of the things many guys can improve upon is simply directing the woman toward a specific answer that encourages more than a two-word response. Asking a girl “how was your day?” is seeking an answer of “good”.
However, asking “what was the highlight of your weekend?” is pushing toward an actual conversation. It’s tricky sometimes because questions like “any big plans for the weekend?” are hopeful of actual responses beyond “nope”, but in short, you want to be encouraging conversations and not just small talk.
That said, if you’re carrying the conversation and you’re not getting responses in return, her interest in you isn’t very high. You should be putting effort into women that want to put the same effort into conversing with you.
Check your grammar.
I think grammar police are fucking petty, but I also believe putting effort into showing women you give a shit about how you present yourself is important. Your texts don’t have to be perfect, I’m not even suggesting you figure out “you’re & your”. It’d be a good idea if you did though because I’ve had women comment specifically on using them properly
Women tend to be attracted to intelligence. I don’t care how much of a bad boy you are or how big your six pack is, you’re selling yourself short if you type like a middle school girl – “lol, r u doin sumthin 2nite”.
Don’t get weird if you get ghosted.
You’ve probably seen the nice guy memes about men that tell women how nice they are and then switch a flip to anger when they realize they don’t get a response. Don’t be that guy.
Take a look at this example for instance. The last message I sent was February 19th and she didn’t pick up the conversation until March 1st. And in the following example, I suggested going on a date and assumed she had ghosted me.
Had I gotten upset, I would have likely not had her respond back at all. By keeping my cool and knowing there are other fish in the sea, I allowed myself to forget about her until she randomly popped back up to apologize for going off the grid. Do I want to date this girl? Probably not given she didn’t have much importance in responding to me, but it goes to show that people have lives and are busy. Getting upset isn’t a strong way to win a girl over, after all anger isn’t synonymous with passion.
But be reasonably persistent.
There’s a difference between getting upset with someone for not responding to you or continuing to harass them with desperate messages when they fail to respond and reaching back out. This isn’t the greatest example, since the conversation kind of ends. However, it is important to remember that conversations aren’t just going to go without breaks.
I wanted this girl to know I wanted to continue talking to her, so I took the initiative. A lot of conversations just fizzle out because neither party wants to make an effort, so be the party that makes the effort.
Other conversations fizzle out because people don’t re-engage with each other. It’s okay to text someone out of the blue and wonder how they are.
Remember the little things.
One of the things I’ve found is that when I talk to women I’m genuinely interested in, I tend to remember the details of things they tell me. If I feel like I don’t remember what we talked about, it is probably because I wasn’t listening and if I wasn’t listening well then that’s a good indicator I’m not really keen on them. And women pick up on that.
Which is why the details matter and can be the number one thing that makes you stand out. Take this example from above.
Several days pass and she ends up reaching out to me when I got busy with life. Why? I’m convinced because I resonated with her.
Don’t underestimate the power of coffee.
It’s the little things and one of the simplest things you can do is send her a coffee in the morning by text. She will literally think of you each and every time she takes a sip.
I’m not saying you have to do this with every girl, but if there is one you really want to catch the attention of, a $5 Starbucks gift card is a small price to pay. In fact, the same app I save upwards of 9.4% on video game gift cards also Starbucks cards at 7% discounts.
Listen, if you can commit to the idea of taking this girl out for Sushi, you can probably figure out how to shoot her over some caffeine.
Music app screenshots are your best friend.
One of the most difficult parts of texting is just figuring out how to keep a conversation jiving. That’s hard, so a tip I like to use is to share the power of music.
This is especially powerful if you share the same taste. Show her what you’re listening to or give her a song that makes you think of her.
It’s amazing what a simple screen shot of your Spotify can do. And if you’re witty, you can turn song titles into dates.
The world of online dating is difficult, in large part because keeping conversations going is difficult. Hopefully these tips will help improve your texting game.
Do you have any other tips you’ve found work great to keep girls interested and continuing texting? Tell us in the comments!
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