You ever see a blogger tell people to stop reading their blog?
Probably not. It’s pretty counter-productive.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do, though.
It’s interesting seeing some of the search terms that bring readers here. There all types of questions from all types of guys. Some want to know how to improve their Tinder profiles, others are men struggling with their partner’s infidelity, and some bros are just trying to figure out what they can do to improve their confidence, go on more dates, or end the vicious cycle of depression causing loneliness…or is it loneliness causing depression?
The thing is, I think a lot of times, we already know the answer to those questions. Sometime I know I think I read not just for validation, but honestly in hopes I’ll come across information that provides evidence there’s an easy solution. There rarely is.
And other times, I think it is because I feel like reading about how to achieve something is synonymous with the process of achieving. True to a degree, but not when we use perpetual learning as part of the process to defer actually taking the major step in that process – doing.
You ever meet a person that just perpetually goes to school, always furthering their education but never furthering their career in doing so? They’re completely content flipping burgers while just perpetually remaining a student. Learning is great, but what’s the point if there is no action as a result?
It’s like that. There comes a time where you just have to apply what you’ve learned and run with it.
It isn’t that I don’t think reading isn’t important in finding inspiration or information. Certainly, I want people to read what I write and I think continuing education is important. I just think sometimes we can get so caught up in how to go about doing something that we continue to apply our time and energy in the “how to do” instead of actually doing it.
Probably because actually doing it is far more scary.
It his a point where we start to live our lives more through the stories of others instead of living our lives through ourselves by applying what we learn from the stories of others. That’s cool if you just absolutely can’t afford to backpack across Europe and choose to follow a travel blog as an alternative. It isn’t so cool if you just continue to read up on healthy recipes and financial advice while continuing to dig yourself deeper into debt with daily Big Macs while completely idolizing social media influencers giving advice on eating better and saving pennies.
Are we really doing anything to work toward a more fulfilling life or are we just mindlessly absorbing tips in hopes they’ll subconciously apply themselves?
We Already Know The Answer
We pull up to the drive-thru window and we swipe our credit card. We know that we just read 26 money-saving tips the night before. And we know that we pinned up 13 recipes for meal planning last weekend.
Yet, here we are shoving a Big Mac down our face on credit while sitting on the couch reading a blog we follow on healthy eating and financial improvement.
Why? Because we want a certain outcome, we read about how to achieve that outcome, and then we just procrastinate making that outcome a reality because “we’re totally working toward it” as long as we apply effort toward the process of reading about it.
We spend all our time and energy focused on “how to eat better” or “how to save money” instead of just focusing our energy completely on the first baby step in doing so.
Awhile back I wrote a post entitled, “If You Want to Change the Outcome, You Have to Change the Variables“.
It sounds obvious, and yet there are a countless number of growing Pinterest boards that continue to accrue pins that will never be looked at again.
There’s a whole group of people that just perpetually read about what they need to do to become more confident, healthier, wealthier, or stronger and they commit more time to reading about how to take action than actually taking fucking action.
Want to know a secret?
I was that person.
I was the guy asking what I needed to do to meet more women.
The answer: hit the gym, fix my diastema, and step outside my comfort zone to display a sense of confidence.
I was the guy asking what I needed to do to make more money.
The answer: ask for a raise, substantiate that raise, and stop being so loyal to a company that didn’t invest further in me.
I was the guy asking what I needed to do to become a successful blogger.
The answer: do the one thing I wasn’t actually doing – writing some fucking content.
I knew those were the answers.
I knew those were my insecurities.
But it was it a helluva lot easier to just stay at home in my bedroom, laptop in hand and jerk off to MILFs after reading up on how to improve my dating woes from a subjective Reddit thread at r/Dating instead of actually leaving my house and put myself out there.
It was easier to just go to work each day and avoid the confrontation and potential rejection of a raise than to be direct with boss about my value to the company.
And it was so much easier to just read up on how other people became successful bloggers all evening long than it was to spend that same amount of time actually writing something.
Shit, one of the first things I read when I decided to start a website was about content being the most important aspect. Yet, I seemed to do anything other than actually create content. I just kept reading about how to start a blog when all I really needed to do was stop reading and start writing.
This Is the Moment You Take Action
Reading about our insecurities can be helpful. Finding motivation and ideas to pull from to help us get from a position of insecurity to a position of confidence can be helpful. But there is only so much knowledge you can absorb before you just have to stop reading about what changes you need to make and start making those changes.
No more procrastinating. Now is the time to take action.
You want to make more money?
Stop reading about the steps to ask for a raise. Start typing up your resume now and post it. And then you go ask for a raise on the next work day knowing if they don’t value you, you’re going somewhere that will. That’s taking action.
Tired of being the skinny kid?
Stop reading up on how to gain weight and just go to the damn gym. Do so religiously and follow a workout routine. Don’t give up. You already know this is the right answer, but you have to stop lurking bodybuilder forums between Fortnite matches and actually lift some weights. Sign up for a gym membership right now and order some mass supplements. That’s taking action.
Tired of being the fat kid?
Stop reading up on ways to lose weight and start jogging. You probably already know that’s the answer and you probably have a whole pile of articles on eating healthy that you’ve read, and yet you’ll drive-by McDonalds at lunch-time and sneak in “one last cheat meal” before you really start your diet. Take action now and invest in a treadmill. That’s taking action.
Tired of not asking women on dates?
Stop reading pick-up lines and reading on how to ask a woman out. Just ask a woman out. Face the fear of rejection and just do it. You know that’s the answer all along. No more procrastination. Send her a text and ask her out now! That’s taking action.
Tired of women not giving you attention?
Become a person that demands attention – lift weights, be ambitious, strive to show confidence. You already know that’s the answer, but its easier to just cherry-pick instances where the totally hot girl ended up with the average guy than it is implementing all the personal changes you could make that would make you more attractive to women. That’s taking action.
Tired of dreaming of owning your own business?
You’ve likely already read how to write a business plan, now go write it. Go hustle, go talk to lenders, go do something, anything besides soaking up anymore knowledge and then once you’ve done those things go back to reading. Get a second job to get more money for capital to invest. That’s taking action.
It’s time to stop reading and take action.
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