A “simp” is man that sucks up to women. If a guy is desperate, he clings to the hope that pulling on the hopeless romantic strings will catch some attention to a point they’re going out of their way to do anything to please a woman. At best, their efforts are kind, yet desperate in hopes of their nobility being recognized attractively and at worst their methods of doing so is disingenuous and full of ulterior motives. It really doesn’t get any more complicated than that.
A simp is synonymous with a white knight personality that puts women a pedestal and who often hopes that in doing so their exaggerated attempts to be respectful will be perceived as attractive to the woman they are simping toward. So, in short, the simp is the 2020 version of the “niceguy” personality.
It’s important to note that being respectful toward woman is not in and of itself being a simp.
I believe the line is drawn at losing a sense of self-worth and toxic selflessness that tends to make being a simp so problematic – and ultimately a turn off for women.
I’ve written at length at why worshiping a woman is ultimately not indicative of loving her.
I believe this is why being a simp is so destructive to a man’s self-worth. If you’re being genuinely kind, opening a door for instance or just tapping into your hopeless romantic spirit that is one thing, but deferring your boundaries and beliefs in an effort to appease a woman for her romantic interest is never a good idea.
Where did the term originate?
According to the dictionary, the word has been around since the 1920s as a slang for stupid. In fact, it is literally a shortened version of “simpleton”, which means a simple minded person. Over time, the term began to evolve from being merely a foolish or gullible person into more of an insult over someone being overly sensitive – specifically toward women in hopes of being attractive for it. It could be implied then that a simp is a man who is gullible and foolish in believing that overly romantic and compassionate actions will encourage a woman that wouldn’t otherwise be interested to suddenly find him attractive.
The Term Took Off in 2020
In the early 2000s, the term began to be tossed around in men’s activism groups, but it would eventually come to replace terms like “niceguy” (a sarcastic take on a genuinely kind man) and “incel” (involuntary celibate) as a man who’s kind actions came with ulterior motives for sex. Men’s rights groups felt the term was synonymous of a man that was unmanly in his deferral to feminism and the interest of women above his own.
The term really took off in 2020 when apps like TikTok – in and oftself a haven for desperate lonely people – and the Simp Nation started taking off. The humorous videos poked fun at men doing kind things for women and as a result being cast to the friendzone. The videos, while funny, are in touch with a viewerbase that increasingly feels women just don’t like good men and only fall for fuckboys.
Although, as the term grew in popularity and became more and more derogatory, the word simp has also been used to stand for Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy.
It wouldn’t be such a big deal if simping actually worked but unfortunately for simps, the women just don’t seem to reciprocate. Why is that?
Being a Simp is Toxically Selfless
I tend to be an empathetic man. I value generosity and doing well for others. I would give another the coat off my back and I don’t believe selflessness is a toxic trait, but selfless behaviors have consequences against ourselves. That doesn’t mean being generous is a bad thing. In fact, generosity is a good trait, but its important to realize that with generosity comes a certain level of sacrifice.
The vast majority of time these sacrifices are well meaning and ultimately don’t leave ourselves in a bad position. We feel better about ourselves when we donate to charity, for instance.
But healthy relationships require a healthy level of giving and receiving.
If we aren’t getting anything out of a relationship, why are we even in a relationship?
We should aim to serve in a relationship but we should also ensure it is equally self-serving.
If we feel worse about ourselves in one, what’s the point? If we’re with someone that isn’t providing anything back to us that makes us feel good about their value in our lives than its a worthless relationship to invest in.
And yet, that’s exactly what being a simp causes.
At it’s simplest form, it’s a thirsty guy commenting on how “not all guys are like that and I’ll show you” with zero positive reception to the investment he is making in numerous, random comments. In complex forms, its a man giving everything he has to a woman and worshiping the ground she walks on with little to show for it in terms of what the relationship gives back.
In order to put a woman on a pedestal, you have to value her above yourself. When you do that and you begin to defer to what she wants you to be, to adjust your opinions to match hers, to exaggerate your respect for her, and begin to cross your personal boundaries in hopes that doing so will bring her closer to you.
The problem is, women know this and frankly, women don’t want a man that is submissive to them.
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