What’s The Gluck Gluck 9000 & How Do I Get My Girlfriend To Give Me One?

What the fuck is the Gluck Gluck 9000? I’m out of the loop. Help!

– Missing Out from Michigan
“A vacuum sealed, double hand twist gluck-gluck combo.”

If your girlfriend isn’t giving you the Gluck, Gluck 9000 you should probably just get a new girlfriend…or listen to the “Call Her Daddy” podcast with her and hope she takes note.

What some girls fail to grasp is that giving a quality blow job is not just a simple little action of bobbing their head up and down while being mindful of their chompers. This girl I dated for a while kept humble-bragging about how amazing she was with her mouth. Let’s just say someone had really boosted her self-esteem in a way that wasn’t in touch with reality. I kept waiting for the teasing to stop, but she kissed the tip and said “how was that?” with a smile.

As appreciative as I was, it was a little difficult to not be slightly disappointed after she gloated so highly on her head game being “next level”.

Next level, quality head is an entire pornstar mindset girls need to be in. But unless you’re communicating with her through your own actions and through…wait for it…having a verbal discussion, she isn’t going to magically read your mind.

And if you keep telling every girl you’re with “oh babe, that was the best blow job ever”, even though her teeth have gnawed scratch marks into your shaft than they’re going to believe their teeth filled hummer is the stuff of wet dreams.

First, what is the Gluck Gluck 9000?

The Gluck Gluck 9000 (slang made famous by “Call Her Daddy” podcast) is the world’s most amazing blowjob because it is as much of a performance of her joy in pleasuring you as it is a skill in creating sensations that feel absolutely, ball emptying amazing.

It’s your girl’s mouth vacuum sealed over your penis, her hands double-twisting up and down your shaft, occasionally fondling the balls, drool everywhere, and an absolutely crazy, “I’m going to suck the living shit out of this dick” performance that ends in her begging for you to finish wherever your heart so desires. Or something like that…

When she hits ya with the Gluck Gluck.

You’re not going to just get head on the bed. Oh, no. This is about her pushing you up against a wall, dropping your drawers and salivating all over that shaft. Not that blow jobs while laying on a mattress are boring, but we’re seeking for next-level experiences here.

In short, it is your girlfriend giving you fellatio worthy of Pornhub Premium.

So how do you get that?

First things first, make sure you’re keeping yourself well-groomed. Would you want to go down on a girl that smells like cottage cheese butt? I didn’t think so!

Step One: Trim Those Pubes!!!

Trim up your ball sack and make sure you give a good scrubbing. We’re a huge fan of Manscaped and Ballwash products around here for keeping our nether regions smelling fresh and approachable.

No one wants to spit out pubes while trying to double hand twist whatever bit of shaft shows above them. The less time she spends plucking hairs from her tongue the better.

Step Two: Make Those Balls Smell Gluckable

Once you’ve got your penis looking approachable and smelling ready to gluck on, you’re ready for the most important part: communication! Not only are you going to discuss your desires openly, as noted above, but also non-verbally by showing her through your own actions when you give her the “Cooch Gobbler“.

So, when she asks you what you like, you tell her. Tell her respectfully, but tell her honestly. You don’t have to tell the girl she gives the worst head you’ve experienced since “brace face” Cindy sophomore year, but it is entirely normal to say “hey, maybe you could try this sometime”.

Even better, communicate during sex.

If she isn’t asking what you like, you open the dialogue by asking her. And then when she tells you, you meet her sexual desires as a way of encouraging her to meet yours.

Don’t expect your girlfriend to just know what feels the best to you if you don’t tell her and don’t expect her to want to go above and beyond for you if you just put in the minimal effort for her.

Get Your Shit Together Outside the Bedroom

The act of sucking your balls dry, makeup and slobber all over her face, occasionally sounding like you’re gagging her (hence the meaning of “gluck, gluck”), and you finishing your load all over her cheeks can be degrading to her, so the understanding you love and respect her is an important prerequisite. If she feels like this is just yet another way to humiliate her and treat her like shit rather than just something that feels toe-curling amazing for you, you’re approaching it from the wrong direction. You treat her well outside the bedroom and she will treat you well inside it, but you have to communicate.

Don’t forget to read up on the Cooch Gobbler.

Good luck and have fun!


Sharing is caring, so slap those social share buttons!  Then give this article a comment and always remember bro, scrub your balls.

Click here to join the conversation.

Landon

Hi, I spewed out all the shit you just read! I like long walks on the beach (but I'm mostly surrounded by cornfields), challenging the status quo of the dating scene, fucking all the rules of dating and encouraging men to live their best life. When I'm not trying to keep the lights on around here and raise two little girls, you can find me drinking and partying - you know the key Wallstreet success...ballin'.

103 thoughts on “What’s The Gluck Gluck 9000 & How Do I Get My Girlfriend To Give Me One?

  • March 9, 2023 at 8:21 pm
    Permalink

    Top 100 Searched Drugs. Everything about medicine.

    [url=https://clomidc.fun/]can you buy generic clomid without prescription[/url]

    how to get cheap propecia prices
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Top 100 Searched Drugs.

    Reply
  • March 9, 2023 at 5:01 pm
    Permalink

    Long-Term Effects. earch our drug database.

    prednisone 50
    [url=https://amoxila.store/]amoxicillin 30 capsules price[/url]
    Drug information. earch our drug database.

    Reply
  • March 9, 2023 at 1:21 pm
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.

    https://clomidc.fun/ order generic clomid without insurance
    [url=https://amoxila.store/]amoxicillin medicine over the counter[/url]

    [url=https://zithromaxa.fun/]can you buy zithromax online[/url]
    Read information now. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.

    Reply
  • March 9, 2023 at 12:27 pm
    Permalink

    Read information now. All trends of medicament.

    https://prednisoned.top/ prednisone 0.5 mg
    [url=https://amoxila.store/]amoxicillin 500mg price in canada[/url]
    [url=https://amoxila.store/]where to buy amoxicillin 500mg without prescription[/url]
    Read here. Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics.

    Reply
  • March 9, 2023 at 12:15 am
    Permalink

    All trends of medicament. safe and effective drugs are available.

    can i get clomid
    Some trends of drugs. Some trends of drugs.

    Reply
  • March 8, 2023 at 11:00 am
    Permalink

    Read here. Everything about medicine.

    [url=https://propeciaf.store/]where buy propecia without dr prescription[/url]

    [url=https://propeciaf.store/]home[/url]

    https://prednisoned.top/ buying prednisone from canada
    п»їMedicament prescribing information. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.

    Reply
  • March 8, 2023 at 4:39 am
    Permalink

    Commonly Used Drugs Charts. Actual trends of drug.

    https://propeciaf.store/ how to get generic propecia prices

    [url=https://propeciaf.store/]can i order generic propecia without insurance[/url]
    Top 100 Searched Drugs. Read information now.

    Reply
  • March 7, 2023 at 9:34 pm
    Permalink

    Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side. Generic Name.

    [url=https://propeciaf.store/]cost of generic propecia tablets[/url]

    zithromax 500 mg lowest price online
    Drugs information sheet. Generic Name.

    Reply
  • March 6, 2023 at 10:08 pm
    Permalink

    Cautions. Generic Name.

    [url=https://clomidc.fun/]can i buy cheap clomid without dr prescription[/url]

    https://clomidc.fun/ cost generic clomid pills
    Long-Term Effects. Cautions.

    Reply
  • March 3, 2023 at 10:10 am
    Permalink

    earch our drug database. Get warning information here.
    https://tadalafil1st.online/# tadalafil online without prescription
    Read information now. Everything what you want to know about pills.

    Reply
  • March 3, 2023 at 7:44 am
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Drugs information sheet.
    https://tadalafil1st.com/# tadalafil brand name in india
    What side effects can this medication cause? Get here.

    Reply
  • March 2, 2023 at 6:30 pm
    Permalink

    Cautions. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.com/#]tadalafil online in india[/url]
    Read information now. Get information now.

    Reply
  • March 2, 2023 at 7:33 am
    Permalink

    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.
    https://tadalafil1st.com/# overnight cialis online
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. earch our drug database.

    Reply
  • March 2, 2023 at 2:22 am
    Permalink

    I’ve been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this site. Reading this info So i’m glad to exhibit that I’ve an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I found out exactly what I needed. I most surely will make certain to don’t fail to remember this website and provides it a look regularly.

    Reply
  • March 1, 2023 at 4:10 am
    Permalink

    Get here. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.online/#]tadalafil tablets price in india[/url]
    All trends of medicament. Best and news about drug.

    Reply
  • March 1, 2023 at 2:34 am
    Permalink

    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Drug information.
    https://tadalafil1st.online/# buy cialis 20 mg
    Everything about medicine. Commonly Used Drugs Charts.

    Reply
  • February 28, 2023 at 3:23 am
    Permalink

    Everything what you want to know about pills. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.
    [url=https://tadalafil1st.online/#]order cialis online no prescription reviews[/url]
    Top 100 Searched Drugs. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 3:51 pm
    Permalink

    Generic Name. Get warning information here.
    [url=https://viagrapillsild.com/#]sildenafil for sale usa[/url]
    Read here. п»їMedicament prescribing information.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 1:16 pm
    Permalink

    Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information. Best and news about drug.
    [url=https://viagrapillsild.com/#]viagra online shopping asia[/url]
    Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information. Get warning information here.

    Reply
  • February 27, 2023 at 11:01 am
    Permalink

    Get warning information here. Read here.
    [url=https://viagrapillsild.com/#]where to buy viagra in melbourne[/url]
    Get here. Get information now.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2023 at 2:07 pm
    Permalink

    Top 100 Searched Drugs. earch our drug database.
    sildenafil 50 mg tablet cost
    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Some trends of drugs.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2023 at 3:21 am
    Permalink

    What side effects can this medication cause? Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.
    sildenafil cheapest price uk
    Everything about medicine. Top 100 Searched Drugs.

    Reply
  • February 26, 2023 at 2:34 am
    Permalink

    What’s up to every one, it’s in fact a good for me to
    visit this website, it includes useful Information.

    Reply
  • February 21, 2023 at 10:46 pm
    Permalink

    Actual trends of drug. Get information now.
    [url=https://canadianfast.online/#]non prescription ed drugs[/url]
    Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 21, 2023 at 6:09 am
    Permalink

    Drugs information sheet. All trends of medicament.
    https://canadianfast.com/# non prescription ed drugs
    Everything about medicine. Everything about medicine.

    Reply
  • February 21, 2023 at 2:46 am
    Permalink

    Everything what you want to know about pills. Read now.
    [url=https://canadianfast.com/#]buy anti biotics without prescription[/url]
    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 4:50 pm
    Permalink

    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.
    [url=https://canadianfast.online/#]buy prescription drugs online[/url]
    What side effects can this medication cause? Best and news about drug.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 9:07 am
    Permalink

    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Drugs information sheet.
    https://canadianfast.com/# best non prescription ed pills
    Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 8:47 am
    Permalink

    Read information now. All trends of medicament.
    [url=https://canadianfast.com/#]buy prescription drugs without doctor[/url]
    Everything what you want to know about pills. earch our drug database.

    Reply
  • February 20, 2023 at 4:21 am
    Permalink

    Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your web-site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched everywhere and simply could not come across. What a great site. https://www.sheffieldstateuniversity.com/

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 10:53 am
    Permalink

    Get here. п»їMedicament prescribing information.
    [url=https://canadianfast.com/#]amoxicillin without a doctor’s prescription[/url]
    Get information now. Everything what you want to know about pills.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 7:50 am
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe.
    https://canadianfast.online/# how to get prescription drugs without doctor
    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Some trends of drugs.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 7:19 am
    Permalink

    Generic Name. All trends of medicament.
    https://canadianfast.com/# prescription drugs canada buy online
    Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. Best and news about drug.

    Reply
  • February 19, 2023 at 4:32 am
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Actual trends of drug.
    [url=https://canadianfast.com/#]prescription drugs online without[/url]
    Cautions. Long-Term Effects.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2023 at 11:26 pm
    Permalink

    Medscape Drugs & Diseases. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.
    [url=https://edonlinefast.com]the best ed pills[/url]
    Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. Get here.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2023 at 12:23 pm
    Permalink

    Have you ever thought about creating an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2023 at 9:26 am
    Permalink

    Drug information. drug information and news for professionals and consumers.
    https://edonlinefast.com cheap ed drugs
    Get here. Everything information about medication.

    Reply
  • February 17, 2023 at 4:54 am
    Permalink

    Generic Name. All trends of medicament.
    https://edonlinefast.com best ed medication
    Generic Name. Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 10:36 pm
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. Get information now.
    [url=https://edonlinefast.com]treatments for ed[/url]
    Everything information about medication. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 7:32 pm
    Permalink

    Everything information about medication. All trends of medicament.
    best ed pills
    Read here. Cautions.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 10:14 am
    Permalink

    safe and effective drugs are available. Get warning information here.
    [url=https://edonlinefast.com]ed treatment pills[/url]
    What side effects can this medication cause? Drugs information sheet.

    Reply
  • February 16, 2023 at 9:01 am
    Permalink

    Read information now. Get information now.
    gnc ed pills
    Get information now. safe and effective drugs are available.

    Reply
  • February 15, 2023 at 10:41 pm
    Permalink

    Medicament prescribing information. Drugs information sheet.
    [url=https://edonlinefast.com]erection pills[/url]
    Everything information about medication. Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions.

    Reply
  • February 15, 2023 at 2:17 pm
    Permalink

    Prescription Drug Information, Interactions & Side. Some trends of drugs. amoxicillin capsule 500mg price
    Get here. Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information.

    Reply
  • February 15, 2023 at 12:46 pm
    Permalink

    Actual trends of drug. safe and effective drugs are available. amoxicillin no prescription
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. Read now.

    Reply
  • February 14, 2023 at 8:23 pm
    Permalink

    Definitive journal of drugs and therapeutics. Medscape Drugs & Diseases.
    [url=https://clomiphenes.com]where can i buy cheap clomid without rx[/url]
    Read here. Drugs information sheet.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 5:04 pm
    Permalink

    Generic Name. Everything about medicine. https://amoxicillins.com/ amoxicillin 500 mg where to buy
    п»їMedicament prescribing information. Cautions.

    Reply
  • February 13, 2023 at 3:06 am
    Permalink

    drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Commonly Used Drugs Charts.
    https://clomiphenes.com how to buy clomid online
    Learn about the side effects, dosages, and interactions. Read information now.

    Reply
  • February 11, 2023 at 10:38 am
    Permalink

    Доброго времени суток, мы делаем черновой ремонт металлокаркасного для дома. Подскажите какая [url=https://humor.rin.ru/cgi-bin/show_pic.pl?razdel=46] невысокая стоимость стяжки пола для каркасного дома [/url] и цена столешниц и подоконников из массив сосны? Какую толщину стяжки пола можно делать в помещении? Как посчитать капматериалы и расценки на – Системы контроля доступа (домофоны, замки , турникеты и другое)? С наилучшими пожеланиями

    Reply
  • February 10, 2023 at 5:39 pm
    Permalink

    earch our drug database. Drug information.
    [url=https://mobic.store/#]can i purchase cheap mobic no prescription[/url]
    Read here. Long-Term Effects.

    Reply
  • February 9, 2023 at 3:45 am
    Permalink

    п»їMedicament prescribing information. Generic Name. [url=https://avodart.science/#]how to get avodart without dr prescription[/url]
    Get information now. All trends of medicament.

    Reply
  • February 8, 2023 at 11:27 pm
    Permalink

    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. What side effects can this medication cause? [url=https://avodart.science/#]home[/url]
    Get warning information here. Everything information about medication.

    Reply
  • January 31, 2023 at 6:52 am
    Permalink

    https://amoxil.science/# amoxicillin 825 mg
    [url=https://doxycycline.science/#]doxycycline without a prescription[/url] doxycycline online

    Reply
  • January 23, 2023 at 11:57 pm
    Permalink

    I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and engaging,
    and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The problem is something not enough men and women are speaking intelligently
    about. I’m very happy I came across this in my search for something regarding this.

    Reply
  • January 19, 2023 at 11:15 pm
    Permalink

    Hi broscrubyourballs.com Administrator, exact listed here: Link Text

    Reply
  • December 8, 2022 at 1:34 am
    Permalink

    I found your blog site on google and examine a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the excellent operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking ahead to studying extra from you afterward!…

    Reply
  • December 8, 2022 at 12:51 am
    Permalink

    Hi my friend! I wish to say that this article is awesome, nice written and include approximately all important infos. I would like to peer more posts like this .

    Reply
  • December 8, 2022 at 12:17 am
    Permalink

    Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is actually frustrating. A good web site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can not find it.

    Reply
  • December 7, 2022 at 12:00 am
    Permalink

    Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff prior to and you are simply extremely fantastic. I really like what you have got right here, certainly like what you’re saying and the best way through which you are saying it. You make it entertaining and you continue to take care of to keep it smart. I cant wait to learn much more from you. That is actually a terrific web site.

    Reply
  • December 6, 2022 at 10:31 pm
    Permalink

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    Reply
  • December 6, 2022 at 1:46 am
    Permalink

    With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any solutions to help stop content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

girl pointing at camera

Hey, Bro’!!

Get Our Newsletter

Think she’s hot?

You should signup!

[ALO-EASYMAIL-PAGE]

Nah, take my man card…