Why Anxiety Is Slaying Your Erection

It’s a common enough story, and it goes something like this…

Your cutie has her right leg draped seductively over your knee as the two of you are snuggled up on the couch. You see her dreamy, coy, tantalizing little smile, which means she’s ready to kiss. You gently brush aside a strand of loose blonde hair from her cheek as you move slowly forward to meet her warm and parted lips. Initially, a thrill of excitement shivers up your spine as she tantalizingly teases your crotch with a languid finger.

However, here’s when the sole-crushing problem begins. Because, the last time you were naked with a woman, you stiffened-up, but not where it matters the most… You couldn’t get hard, and it freaked you out!

And now, when it comes to sex, you’re stressing over whether your erection will stand strong, firm, and proud. To make matters worse, you have negative thoughts which keep repeating like a broken record… ““DON’T mess this up… She’ll think I’m a failure as a man… Fuck, nothing happening down there, what the fuck do I do?

Eventually, the clothes come off, and you lavish her with attention while desperately hoping to buy yourself some extra time. Perhaps if you keep her distracted, then she won’t notice that you’re not springing to attention?

Sadly, there’s that inevitable moment of awkward silence, which is quickly filled by her re-assuring words… She’s honestly not disappointed. It happens to lots of guys; she just likes spending quality time with you. But, in the depths of your despair, you think these platitudes are bullshit because you’re viewing your sexual performance as a complete failure.

So, what should you do? Should you try those little blue pills? Should you buy that fertility-boosting magic potion made from Amazonian plant routes? Should you swear off sex and become a monk?

But, you know deep down that these remedies won’t solve the real problem. As your Erectile Dysfunction challenges begin in that 3lbs of gray matter, which sits between your ears.

The good news is, your in the right place if you first want to discover the truth about how anxiety is killing your erection. Secondly, you’ll learn about three remarkable strategies that you can start using today to overcome Erectile Dysfunction for good!

Are you ready to claim back your sex life?

Great! Let’s begin.

Erectile Dysfunction, Anxiety, And A Man-Eating Tiger.

The real reason anxiety is killing your erection is because your Nervous System has evolved to prioritize survival over procreation. Now, you may be thinking that statement is an unusual place to begin, but allow me to explain further by presenting you with the following scenario:

Picture this scene…

You’re hacking your way through an overgrown, steamy, and green jungle path.
Suddenly, before you steps a snarling, hissing, ferocious Tiger. This feline threat has claws like knives, it’s teeth are razor-sharp, and it’s chewing upon a jean-clad leg which ends in a bright white Nike.

How would you react if confronted by this 500lb man-eating Tiger?

If you’re anything like me, then you’d most likely scream like a little girl, turn and flee with arms flailing while desperately praying that the Tiger won’t be a fan of my Adidas’s.

How anxiety is causing erectile dysfunction
Do you think this will catch-on as a new type of contraception?

But, let me ask you this…

Would you be worried about getting an erection with your partner that evening when you can feel the meaty, rank, hot breath of a 500lb tiger on the back of your neck?


But why?

The answer is that when you’re confronted by stress or anxiety-inducing situation, your mind will prioritize basic survival over the need to re-produce. Your brain essentially reacts to a heightened level of concern by flipping a survival switch, which automatically activates your Sympathetic Nervous System.

If you’ve never heard of the Sympathetic Nervous System, then consider this…

Have you ever felt like punching the lights out of a guy whose just cut you off in traffic?

Well, in that moment of road rage, your sympathetic nervous system is lit up brighter than a New Years’ firework display. Consequently, the activation of your Sympathetic Nervous System triggers the fight-flight response, which means you’re ready to go in with both fists swinging.

But, how does the Sympathetic Nervous System affect Erectile Dysfunction?

I’m glad you asked. You see, the activation of your Sympathetic Nervous System affects your ability to keep and maintain an erection in two crucial ways…

Firstly, as Dr. Michele Emery points out in this Forhims post, your blood vessels throughout the body are constricted when your Sympathetic Nervous System is activated. As a result, your blood pressure crashes because of your restricted circulation. In other words, your heart is unable to pump enough blood into your penis to keep and maintain an erection.

Secondly, Dr. Emery proposes that in moments of heightened anxiety, your Sympathetic Nervous System causes the release of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Quite simply, this cocktail of stress hormones inhibits your Testicals capacity for producing Testosterone, which is the hormone responsible for regulating your sex drive and erection firmness.

Another way to think about these two erection killing factors is to imagine your blood flow into the penis as if it’s a fast-running river.
Now, let’s suppose that a family of brown, sleek and mischievous Beavers has built a dam across this once formidable force of nature.

Anxiety causes erectile dysfunction due to restricted blood flow
Your erection will stand proud once anxiety is no longer a barrier

Source: Unsplash

What will happen to the flow of water when a dam is introduced into the system?

You got it, the river will become a stream, the stream will become a trickle, the trickle will become a drip.

My point is this… Your anxiety is acting as a dam because it activates the Sympathetic Nervous System. Consequently, your Erectile Dysfunction is caused by restricted blood flow into the genitals and low Testosterone levels.

The good news is that Mother Nature is a smart old gal because she’s also evolved a system for spectacularly reducing your anxiety levels. Basically, the Parasympathetic Nervous System is responsible for regulating functions such as rest, recovery, digestion, and sexual arousal.

For example, have you ever awoken from a deep sleep and found that a tent has been erected (pun intended) in the bedsheets due to a colossal hard-on??

Well, that happens because, during REM sleep, your Parasympathetic Nervous System is fully activated. This means that the region of your brain, which regulates sexual arousal, is as chilled-out as an Eskimo sipping a tinkling glass of lemon iced tea. As a result, your Testosterone levels function at an optimum level at this stage in the sleep cycle.

So, the key to defeating your Erectile Dysfunction is introducing relaxation strategies into your lovemaking so that your Nervous System begins to associate sex with languid ease.

Want to discover three great relaxation strategies for defeating Erectile Dysfunction for good? So that you can once again see an orgasmic, blissful, ecstatic expression on your partner’s face?

Thought so; let’s get down to it!

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction With The Healing Power Of Touch.

Treat erectile dysfunction with a sensual massage
Your erection anxiety will melt away with a sensual and relaxing massage

So far, you’ve learned how anxiety affects Erectile Dysfunction. Specifically, you now understand that relaxation is essential in creating the optimum state for keeping and maintaining an erection. As a result, your first Erectile Dysfunction defeating strategy will focus upon introducing relaxation into your lovemaking with a sensual massage.

But, before we dive into the specific steps involved, Let’s firstly consider three magnificent benefits of introducing massage into your lovemaking:

  • Your brain will activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System because your tension will melt away as your muscles become deeply relaxed.
  • Your circulation will improve because massaging the muscles dilates the veins and capillaries. Consequently, this will allow more blood to flow into your genitals.
  • You’ll begin to view sex as if it’s a sumptuous feast that comprises of many different dishes, rather than being consumed by anxiety about whether you’ll get an erection or not.

Want a breakdown of the steps involved so that you can add sensual massage to your Erectile Dysfunction defeating toolkit?

Step 1: Talk to your partner.

I recommend that you have a clothes on conversation with your partner to understand your intention behind introducing a relaxing & sensual massage. Even better, you could read this post together so that your partner has a greater appreciation for how this will transform your lovemaking.

Step 2: Clarify your intention.

Initially, I want to encourage you to not have sex after the massage for at least the first couple of sessions. Because your intention should be focused upon allowing your Nervous System to associate deep relaxation with sexual intimacy. In other words, after the massage, you’ll be so chilled, comfortable, and peaceful that worrying about maintaining an erection will be the furthest thing on your mind.

Step 3: Richalise Your Love Making

You’ll want to consider ritualizing your massage and lovemaking. For example, you could light scented candles, play soft music, and spend time gazing lovingly into your partner’s eyes. Basically, over time these sensory queues will firstly become a relaxation trigger that activates your Parasympathetic Nervous System. Secondly, you are intentionally creating a relaxed & intermit atmosphere where sex will naturally occur.

Want to know a potent and powerful relaxation trigger that could make all the difference to your sex life?

If you answered “Yes,” I recommend investing in massage oil that you ONLY use for your lovemaking.


Our sense of smell has a tremendous effect on our physical and emotional state. For example, have you ever smelt bacon sizzling in a pan, and suddenly your mouth is watering? Or, has the smell of freshly cut grass sparked childhood memories of long and sunny afternoons?

And so, my personal recommendation is that you try out this sensual & erotic massage oil by Aromabar. This 100% organic lotion contains a unique blend of herbs, specifically picked for their relaxing properties.

Step 4: Massage Your Partners Body

  1. Lie your partner down on the bed, and place an optional pillow beneath their hips.
  2. Pour a generous amount of oil into your palm, and warm your hands by rubbing them together for at least 10 seconds.
  3. Use your palm to massage your partner’s body. Ensuring your strokes are long, gliding, and firm.*
  4. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply throughout the massage, as this will increase their sense of relaxation.
  5. Try to attune yourself to the tensions of your partner’s body by seeking out any knots. Even better, ask your partner if there are any areas of tautness that require special loving care.
  6. Spend at least two minutes on each body part, aiming for a minimum of 20 minutes for a full-body massage. However, consider this timing suggestion as a guideline only. In other words, approach the massage as if you are giving your partner a wonderful and loving gift. And, not as if the massage is something to be checked off as a prelude to getting down to business.

Bonus Tip:

I recommend that you sensually work your way inward towards your partner’s erogenous zones (e.g., their breasts, buttocks, genitals). Think about it like this. You want to simultaneously focus upon deeply relaxing your partner while gradually building up craving anticipation. Lastly, attune yourself to the sweet rhythm of your partner’s body. And so, you’ll know when they’re ready to ride the wave towards the peak of sexual ecstasy using your fingers, hands, lips, and tongue.

*If you’re uncertain about the correct sensual massage technique to use, then here is a YouTube video which provides a demonstration:

Step 5: Your Partner Massages You

  1. Request in advance that your partner pauses and lets you know when they’re about to stimulate your genitals by using their hands or mouth.
  2. Have your partner massage your body by following instructions 1-6 from the previous step. Also, remember to breathe deeply as this will increase your sense of relaxation.
  3. At this point, your Parasympathetic Nervous System will be fully activated. And so, you’re now in the optimum state for your erection to stand proud, ready to receive a slow and tantalizing hand or blow job.

Now, I’d like you to focus your attention on the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing. Furthermore, if you find yourself becoming consumed by Erectile Dysfunction anxiety, then nearly bring your attention back to the blissful feelings and connect with your partner. Essentially, your repeated re-focusing of your attention in this way will gradually train your Nervous System to associate sex with pleasurable relaxation and connection.

But, what if after the massage you still struggle to maintain an erection?

I’m guessing that in the past, you’ve Beaton yourself up when your erection has died and judged the whole experience as an epic failure. However, thinking about your Erectile Dysfunction issues in this way is making the problem worse because you are strengthening the association between stress and sex. So, the next time this happens, I recommend you use the following mood & thought resetting tactic:

  1. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths
  2. Picture in your mind a big green RESET button, and imagine your palm slamming down upon it.
  3. Remind yourself that the Erectile Dysfunction issue is a temporary challenge you overcome using this post’s strategies.
  4. Open your eyes and focus on deepening the emotional connection with your partner.

Suppose you use the above reset tactic consistently, then over time. In that case, you’ll begin to notice a subtle change in your attitude. For example, rather than seeing Erectile Dysfunction as a complete disaster, you’ll see it as a temporary setback that you’re overcoming.

But wait… because we’ve only just started on tactics for ultimately shifting your mindset and attitude towards sex. In fact, I promise you that if you follow the recommendations laid out in the second strategy below, you’ll quickly and easily become a sexual dynamo! A BIG claim, I know, but it’s NO BULLSHIT!

Conker Erectile Dysfunction Using Guided Mental Imagery.

Guided mental imagery for overcoming ED
Your mind is the most powerful tool for overcoming anxiety related ED for good

A classic Sex Therapist technique for managing anxiety related to Erectile Dysfunction is Guided Mental Imagery. Basically, this technique uses the incredible power of visualization to re-program your sexual instincts. In other words, you can use Guided Mental Imagery to quickly train your brain so that you associate sex with pleasure, relaxation, passion, and loving connection.

Sounds pretty awesome, right?

You’ll find plenty of freely available guided sessions on YouTube… However, I highly recommend to my clients that they invest in the Guided Mental Imagery products available over at HypnosisDownloads.com for the treatment of Erectile Dysfunction related issues.

Why do I recommend the products at HypnosisDownloads.com?

Here are five excellent benefits you can expect to receive as a HypnosisDownloads.com customer:

  • Your Hypnosis Downloads session will empower you to overcome your anxiety related to Erectile Dysfunction in a practical, quick, and painless way.
  • Your general anxiety-levels will be significantly reduced because regularly using the Hypnosis sessions will train your Nervous System to enter deep relaxation.
  • You can pop-on headphones and listen to your Hypnosis sessions in comfort and as often as you want.
  • You’re guaranteed to receive a professionally packaged product because each Hypnosis session is designed and quality reviewed by four Psychologists who are experts in their field.
  • If you’re dissatisfied with your purchase, then Hypnosisdownloads.com offers a 90-day money-back guarantee.

I’ve personally been using the HypnosisDownloads.com products for years, so I have every confidence that including this tool will make an essential difference in defeating your Erectile Dysfunction anxiety.

So, once you’ve finished reading this post, then head over to Hypnosisdownloads.com and grab a copy of their life-changing Male Sexual Performance Pack.

Combat Erectile Dysfunction Using The soft entry technique.

Overcome erectile dysfunction with the soft entry technique
Overcome your erectile challenges using this secret Tantric technique

The Soft Entry Technique has been used by Tantric practitioners for 1000’s of years for overcoming Erectile Dysfunction. Quite simply, the principle of this practice is to enter your partner soft to experience a hard outcome.

But, before I break this strategy down for you, I’d firstly like to give a shout out to Hermina Seraphin over at Sexual Continence, For providing the original post on which the following steps are based:

  1. Use your fingers, hands, lips, and tongue to pleasure your partner with sensual caresses. Basically, you’ll want to lovingly explore your partner’s body to the point where her vagina is well lubricated, and her erotic energy is pulsating.
  2. Lie on top of your partner so that the force of gravity will aid in blood flowing into your penis.
  3. Use your index finger and thumb to encircle the base of your penis. And, gently squeeze so that you forcing blood into the head & shaft.
  4. Penetrate your partner while continuing to squeeze blood into your penis. Simultaneously, clench your buttocks together to increase the blood flow into your genitals.
  5. Focus upon the pleasurable sensations of being inside your partner.
  6. Your penis will begin to naturally harden due to these pleasurable sensations and the flow of erotic energy. Once that happens, remove your fingers from around your penis and start to focus on making love.
  7. If your penis begins to soften during your lovemaking, then re-apply the pressure provided by your finger and thumb.

Your Erectile Challenges Aren’t Your Fault.

You were slightly worried the first time when your erection didn’t rise to the occasion.
But, you were seriously mortified, freaked-out, panicked after the fourth time without even a little twitch.
As a result, your confidence plummeted; you felt useless, broken, a failure as a man.

And now, things have changed…

Because the simple truth is that your erectile challenges aren’t your fault. In fact, the real villain in this story has been an overloaded Nervous System caused by overwhelming anxiety, stress, and burn-out

What’s more, you’re now equipped with three excellent strategies for defeating Erectile Dysfunction for good, for re-claiming you’re thrown as a powerful King in the bedroom, for defiantly facing the Tiger and demanding, “come on then, let’s see what you’ve got!”

So, now it’s over to you… Which one of the three strategies are you motivated to do right now? To bring back the peaks of passion, the shivers of ecstasy, the white-hot love back into your sex life.

Sharing is caring, so slap those social share buttons!  Then give this article a comment and always remember bro, scrub your balls.

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James Harris

James Harris is the owner of Men Who Connect. The site is dedicated to building a strong and inclusive community of like-minded men who are passionate about taking their relationship and communication skills to a whole new level.

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