Why Are Guys So Perverted On Tinder?

I want to make consensual procreation with you in the missionary position. Send me a fun pic of you, baby.

Guys on Tinder That Swipe Right to Everything

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over dinners with women chatting about our experiences with online dating, it is that some of you guys have no shame in your game…and you should. Nearly every single woman I took on a date had stories about unsolicited dick pics or getting super vulgar and perverted messages shortly after matching.

Interestingly enough, for some of them, the very appreciation being the total opposite of that seemed to seal the deal for me if only for the night – proof that being nice doesn’t mean you finish last…

…except the order you orgasm. Ba-dum-ts.

Here’s a tip: If you’re relying on finding the lowest denominator of girl that takes your dick pic bait, there’s a good chance you’re missing out on some quality women that are sorting out the lowest denominator of men that think vulgarity is appropriate.

The type of women that ask, “Why do guys get so perverted on Tinder right away?“

Some Guys Think It’s Efficient

A lot of guys think they’re efficiently adjusting out girls that would just be wasting their time. I’d bet based on the number of women put off by pervasiveness, those guys are having less sex than if they just, oh you know, scaled back the pervy.

This might blow your mind, but women actually enjoy sex. It’s not that sex or sexual topics bother them, as the stigma with casual sex is fading, but most of them would rather that not be the first topic upon matching.

There does appear to be “proof” that a guy that is “model hot”, can basically say whatever the fuck he wants and still hook up with girls. But if he can say whatever he wants with those girls and still have success, he isn’t any further ahead by being an asshole. Imagine how much more success he would have with the girls that did give a shit about his personality.

A helluva lot of decent looking guys are blowing it with some absolutely great girls simply because they mistake being creepy with being confident. Believe it or not, being too nice is not what makes a person unattractive, so undress her with kindness and confidence rather than immediately telling her all the things you’d do to her in bed.

Some Guys Just Fail At Building Sexual Tension

I’m also convinced there’s a group of guys that just desperately want to ride the line of confidence and flirtatious. They know part of building a romantic relationship is building sexual tension into their conversations, but they end up crossing the border into creepy and perverted for no fault other than their lack of game. They don’t intend to be disrespectful and they aren’t even necessarily looking for a one night stand, but they also don’t want to waste their time, so they try to build sexual tension – they just suck at it.

They approach a flirtatious cliff…

…and end up taking one step too far.

Flirting really is an art and it isn’t easy.

Flirting requires subtlety and wit mixed with confidence and only occasionally reaching for light-hearted sexual innuendo (at the right moment) that keeps the woman’s sensual interest peaked without screaming “I’m probably going to tribute your profile picture“!

Unfortunately, a lot of guys are just socially awkward in that sense and entirely miss the mark trying to spice up the messages.

So, if their intentions were just misguided and if they didn’t want to get all weird and pervy, why are they relying on bringing sexuality into the conversation at all?

Online dating has created a culture where there’s this constant pressure to create a sexual connection as fast as possible to waste as little time as possible.

Guys have been led to believe that we have to waste as little time as possible to determine if there is a romantic interest. All these dating guides teach us that acceptance of sexual innuendo is synonymous with sexual interest.

Ultimately, I don’t really think that’s true.

You might disagree, but this is my blog.

So guys try and force sexual tension where maybe it doesn’t exist yet under the guise that it is confident, flirty, and an easy way to pick up on a girl’s interest.

Except, getting all weird and pervy off the bat is not the way to make that connection. I think men have this fear that some other guy is going to rush in and bang her lights out while he’s still lagging behind trying to create a genuine bond over similar tastes in music without creating any sexual tension.

What if I told you that there are no dating rules that say you have to be the first to fuck her to win her heart and that if she’s giving you signs of indecision, she probably isn’t the right girl for you anyways?

If the conversation isn’t just flowing and flirty naturally where you start feeling the need to force sexual tension, the battle was already lost. Good relationships just feel natural and nobody has to force anything.

Forcing Sexual Tension Introduces Unnecessary Awkwardness

There’s a difficult balance with flirting in discussing similar interests while also hinting at the idea of toe-curling orgasms once an opportunity to do presents itself.

But humans are impatient and want results right away, so if the opportunity doesn’t present itself, often men try to take it upon themselves to introduce sexual banter. It doesn’t really matter how smooth (or lack thereof) your flirting skills are, if you’re forcing sexual tension, you’ll end up with one of two kinds of awkward conversations:

You’ll come in hot with an overly exaggerated sexual intro with the intent of cutting through all the bullshit. You’re thinking if she finds you sexually attractive, you can basically say anything and immediately know your chances of getting your dick wet.

But that isn’t a great start to even a mediocre conversation, so you never actually get a point where most of the women invite you over to “check out her record collection“.

Or…

You start off with a nice intro regarding similar interests, but get the impression she is lukewarm in her interest of you because there’s little to no sexual innuendo. You get impatient and force it because you aren’t presented with a good opportunity or lack the wit for a mildly flirty comment and end up just going from “Hey, I love watching the Chicago Cubs,also” to “Oh God, I’d love to smash your back door in after a day at Wrigley Field“…awkward.

Neither of those is better than the other because they both consist of the guy forcing sexual tension rather than it just occurring naturally. If someone really likes you and wants to spend time with you they will continue to do so often enough that, with a little confidence, you’ll find right moment to “spark the connection”.

Again, if anything feels like it is forced, you’re already losing.

And It Won’t Change Her Mind

She has likely already decided whether she would sleep with you given your photos and personality alone. Treating a girl kindly that’s already decided she is interested in you will only serve to reinforce her decision. On the flip side, treating a girl like shit that originally was interested in you is capable of causing her to send you packing – and probably put you on blast to all her friends that are also on Tinder.

So, instead of trying to force sexual tension and risk coming off as a creepy asshole, just be nice. She’s already made up her mind on if she would, now you just need to keep respecting her so that “she would” becomes “she will”.